Dolffin Discoveries
2007-06-27 Wed @ 11:59 p.m.

The One With Kathy Griffin LIVE in Baltimore

Last year, when I was watching Kathy Griffin in her My Life on the D-List show, I remember thinking . o O ( if she came to town, I would really like to go see her! )

Fast forward to this past April, and I am driving to work and hear a commercial that Kathy is coming to Baltimore! I consulted with Mom and we decided if the tickets were less than 50 bucks, we would go. I went online to ticket-i-am-going-to-suck-you-dry-with-fees-master and found tickets I was very pleased with. Dead center, first row, balcony. I like having a clear sightline.

So tonight was the night. It was Mom, me, my cousin Sara and my token gay Carlos. We met for a lovely dinner beforehand then drove into the city to the Lyric Opera House. My gawd it was hotter then hell outside.

The concert was sold out (although as of yesterday that didn't seem to be the case). At about the time she was suppose to go on (8pm), a guy came out and fixed her 2 waters and such. I couldn�t tell myself, but by the way the audience down front reacted, it was Tom. He looked a little surprised people were wooing him.

At about 8:15, she came onstage, sans introduction.

She looked great. She was dressed in brown pants and a brown tank top shirt with a sparkling belt that was beautiful (but distracting, especially thru the binoculars. {So.. I like shiny things!}) She is totally thin (but not scarily so) and she no longer has the �fake hair� (extentions).

She was thoroughly present, with a very expressive face and vivacious arms. Most of the time she just stood in one place, except when she was imitating Paris Hilton�s walk, which was hysterical.

Kathy is so perceptive. She is very tangential and would go off on other side notes but then always came back to her main story. It really seems like she is having a real dishy conversation with just you, not with thousands of others, although that does explain the reason she is standing so far away, with a mic.

She ran out on stage, arms waving and started with �let�s get started.. you came on a good night!� She did the gay gasp. She did the Whitney naughty finger-wave. It was "truth night". She played with her watch a lot. She asked who in the audience, by claps, was a a) straight man b) straight man who got dragged to the concert by gf/wife c) gay man and d) woman, straight or otherwise. Guess which one got the loudest applause?

In total, she talked for 2 solid hours!

What did she talk about?

Paris Hilton, of course. She opened the show with her. She mentioned we were missing the Larry King Live interview with post-jail Paris, and was hoping we were tivoing that shit. (I was, and I am watching now. {Ridiculous.}) Kathy�s take: Paris is just stupid. Only said in a lot funnier manner.

Aaron Carter. Called him out as a meth head, even on his reality show. Which I didn�t see, but that the going-to-the-hospital thing was all about meth.

Ryan Seacrest. She told the story about why she hated him. Apparently they were presenting at the American Music Awards, and he walked behind her and opened her shirt and exposed her bra live on the air. I am thinking she will be forever pissed. And he probably is gay.

Oprah and her boyfriend Gayle. She clearly loves Oprah, calls her a deity, and really seems to do a deep level on analyzation on her shows. Kathy called Ops school the �prison school� but then explained why it totally wasn�t. (Some Moms were complaining because their girls couldn�t have cell phones and candy.)

Her Dad and his death. This was quick but she acknowledged it and got a big applause. She asked her Mom if she can still use Dad in her act, she said of course, he would love it.

Larry King. A little about being on his show last week, how he doesn't pay attention, and some event she did that was for him (like his birthday party maybe) where all these other eclectic people were involved like Bill Maher, Jane Fonda, Suzanne Summers, and Dr. Phil. (She wont call him Dr. just to piss him off.)

The View. She didn�t address whether or not she wanted the host opening (of course she does!), she just discussed some behind the scenes stuff. She closed the show with a story about backstage in the make-up room that involved dry pussies, Barbara Walters, and lubrication aids. It was a great closer and she got a big laugh.

(I actually got a little video clip of her closing.. if interested email [email protected])

There was a lot more, but this is just the highlights and what I could remember. Here is the best focused picture I have, but sadly she is making a very un-Kathy-like face. But it was a very funny show. Glad I went.

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2007-06-27 Wed - The One With Kathy Griffin LIVE in Baltimore

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